“I’ll take the terrible two’s over the torturous teens”.
It’s true, bringing up teens can be extremely troublesome. Both Moms and Dads have a huge responsibility.
In fact, according to research, both mothers and fathers are talking with their teens about difficult subjects. However 93% of Moms are doing the talking, and only 85% of Dads are communicating with their teens. Should it really be left up to mom to do the majority of the guiding and directing?
Not at all. A fathers input is extremely valuable when bringing up a child. Whether you’re a single dad or you’ve got a partner to help you, properly parenting a teenager can be tough.
Read on for some must-know tips for teens and dads.
Successful Communication
When your moody teen was a little kid, they no doubt told you everything. But as they’ve grown up, the communication between you both may have diminished to simple one-syllable responses. It can be frustrating but don’t give up. Communication is key to a strong bond with each of your family members.
Take every opportunity to start conversations with your son or daughter. Keep the conversations brief and have informal chats, such as when driving somewhere or while you’re both doing chores. But, don’t overdo it, remember that they need privacy too.
If it’s time to approach an uncomfortable topic of conversation, don’t avoid it. Be open and honest with them and try to be flexible. If you’re harsh or quick to judge, it will create a barrier between you both.
Make sure to give them the needed advice on risks, such as drugs, premarital sex, driving, drinking and other hazards. If you don’t advise them on these subjects, then they will go looking somewhere else.
Find Common Interests
If you’re stuck on what to say to your teen, you need to find common interests.
What do they love? What do they hate? You no doubt have something in common, so find it and use it to bond!
For instance, do they have a favorite sports team or hobby? Are there some father-son or father-daughter activities you can take part in?
Try to think out of the box and be adventurous. Go on a camping trip where you can take time to really get to know each other and bond. Teach them to drive, build a treehouse or go out to see a movie.
Just try to have fun together! Your teenage son or daughter will appreciate all those moments, big or small and remember them for years to come.
Make Fair Rules
Decide on rules and discipline before an issue comes up. Take their age and maturity into consideration before you set the boundaries.
Make sure both you and your partner are on the same page, especially when it comes to the degree of discipline. If you don’t come to an agreement with each other, your teen might use it against you.
Whether the punishment is a ban from going out with their friends, using the internet or an allowance cut back, make sure you let them know the rules and consequences in advance. Then when something does occur, follow through.
If you don’t follow through then you will be teaching your child that rules don’t apply to them. This can cause further issues when they have to face the big wide world alone in the future.
Choose Your Battles
Your son or daughter may give you an abundance of things to complain about throughout their moody teen years. But don’t nitpick. Choose your battles wisely, or you might find yourself in a constant war zone.
Give your moody teenager some leeway and time to establish their own identity. This requires you to allow them a level of independence. And once they show you that they are becoming a responsible adult, reward them with more freedom.
Love is an Open Door
Keep the doors of communication open to them. Don’t interrogate them, but be interested in their life. And if they let you in on a secret, don’t be quick to judge and punish, or that door will shut in your face.
Give your teenager a game plan. Try doing roleplay or brainstorming sessions at home to prepare them for any unsafe situations that may occur. For instance, if the only option is getting into a vehicle with a drunk driver, arrange for them to call you for a pickup, even if it’s in the middle of the night.
Become the Hang Out House
If you’re worried about where your teen is and what they are up to, it’s probably because you haven’t made your home teen-friendly.
Make your home welcoming for your teen and their friends. Let them get together to play video games, watch movies or just chat.
But if your home comes across as unfriendly or overly strict, your teen and their mates will find someplace elsewhere for their socializing, which could be potentially dangerous.
Become a Role Model
A teen can have a lot of friends, but they only have one dad. So, whether you like it or not your responsibility is to be a good role model.
You may have heard the expression “actions speak louder than words”. That’s definitely true when it comes to influencing your teen. You can shout, scream, discipline, teach and advise them until you’re blue in the face, but if you’re not doing those things yourself, they will never take you seriously.
Be respectful of your partner. Be fair and reasonable when making family decisions. Be kind and loving, yet firm and strict when needed.
It might require sacrifices on your part, but it will be worth it when your kid grows up to have good moral and ethical standards.
Teach them practical skills too, such as how to drive, how to apply for a job, how to mow the lawn, how to do their accounts, how to cook a meal and anything else useful. The time you spend bonding will help you to grow closer, and will also teach them valuable life skills.
Teens and Dads
Yes, parenting can be a challenge. But when a father gives of his best, the relationship between teens and dads can become an unbreakable bond, which is worth all the heartache.
For more fatherly advice or lifestyle tips, check out our ultra manly blog.
