Oh, man, first dates are a lot to handle! What do you say? How do you act?–
Calm down. Breath in, and out, and get out of your own head.
Read this article for the first date advice that every man needs to read in order to put their nerves at ease.
First Date Advice: Tips to Put Your Nerves at Ease
It goes without saying that you need to clean yourself up before a first date. Go get yourself the BestClippersForMen, soap, shampoo-the whole lot. Do your laundry and where a pressed shirt.
Think of some categories of conversation that you are passionate about.
Do you read books? Do you love sports? Maybe, you’re a gadget man.
Share yourself and let her truly see your passions.
But, be prepared to switch topics if you hit a conversation dud. If you love guns, and she has a family member that was killed by gun violence, she doesn’t want to hear about your stupid passion for guns. Either, leave, or read the writing on the wall and change topics.
Relax into honesty, and take all thoughts of expectation from your mind. You are not gettin’ any tonight, so…
Hands Off!
This is a date, not a drunken hookup at a party. So, keep your hands to yourself! The only time that physical contact is a positive thing is after trust has been established.
Trust takes time to build between two people. The first date is not the time for physical excitement. The first date is the time for communicative connection.
That being said-an affectionate and respectful way to make physical contact is hand holding. But, unless it is clearly desired, even holding hands can be negative physical contact on a first date.
The first reason for this is that if you are super handsy with her on your first date, you must be like this all the time on first dates. If that is true of how you act on first dates, you need to stop now! Or else, you will never get past the first date.
Wake Up and Listen
The second and more overarching reason is that our society has awakened to the ways in which men show aggression to women in personal interactions. Even if you don’t do that, the woman you are dating has, undoubtedly, experienced aggressive male treatment.
Make it clear on your first date that you are not an objectifying male. If some dude came up to you and just flung his arm over your shoulder, you wouldn’t like it either. Prove, through your actions, that your intention is to build a relationship of communication and empathy.
You don’t know what she has been through in her life. Don’t put your expectations of physicality onto her, as women experience the dating world from a vastly different paradigm than men.
On the first date, engage with her mind-not her body.
Don’t worry, you will not seem boring if you are not touching her. She will know that you are interested, as long as you follow the next tip:
Speak Up, Share, and Listen
If you are silent the whole date, and then try to hold her hand, you’re a creep. The whole point of not touching is to talk.
Girls like a guy who listens. But, the common misconception, is that listening involves silence. Listening involves being silent while someone else is speaking, and interjecting with your own contributions that are on-topic and relevant.
Your first date with her is about getting to know each other. So, ask questions, and have reactions-stories, connections, disagreements-just talk!
Share yourself. Enjoy listening and responding.
The best way to do this is to make it easy on yourself. Go somewhere and do something that you really love doing. If you know a lot about it, excellent. Share your passions.
When you find yourself talking more than she is, good job, but tap the breaks to give her a chance to share her mind.
If you successfully share your passion with her on your first date, invite her to do the same for the second date. This shows her that you understand this was divergent for her and you’re willing to do the same thing. And, it gives her something to look forward to!
Final Thoughts
The best thing you can do for yourself on the first date is to go on the second date with excitement and anticipation. That only happens when your date has been respectful, fun, mutual, and vulnerable. Dare greatly, to love and be loved.
If you liked this article on first date advice, share it with friends on social media. Dudes need a reminder of what is civilized, decent conduct towards women. Thanks for reading!
