If you’re over 40 and back on the market, well, good luck.
Or, should we say “Congratulations?”
Either way, you’re going to need to prepare yourself. The world has changed quite a bit since the last time you were single.
But, don’t worry. As scary as it may seem to get out there and start dating again, it’s not so bad.
In fact, with our helpful dating tips for men over 40, you’ll find the woman of your dreams (again!) in no time.
1. Dating Tips for Men Have Changed
The world has changed.
You might be wondering why you need any advice at all.
But remember when your divorce lawyers said you’d start dating again before you know it? You thought they were nuts. Yet, here you are.
The same goes for your mindset when it comes to dating when you’re north of 40. You can’t rely on what you did 20 years ago. The truth is, you can’t rely on what you did five years ago.
We live in a more sensitive and aware time. That means, acting like your Johnny the jock from an 80’s movie won’t get you the cutest girl on campus.
Women are more independent. They’re stronger. They know their worth, not only in their relationship but in everyday life.
2. Know What You Want
You may not know what you want. It’s understandable. You did get out of a long-term relationship or marriage recently.
But, at least know what you’re looking for in a woman.
Do you want one who’s successful? Someone who’s traveled the world? Maybe an entrepreneur?
That means that you’ll have to get comfortable with the fact that you’ll likely attract a successful woman if you’re successful.
Since you’re more mature (at least, we hope!) than when you were in your 20’s, you probably don’t care about hair or eye color. You likely couldn’t care less about physical features at all.
Sure, everyone wants to find someone they’re attracted to and that finds them attractive. But, you also know that looks aren’t everything. Don’t worry about the superficial stuff; think about the kind of person you’d like to date.
3. Remember the Basics
While some things have changed, some things remain the same.
You should always be on time for a date. Pay attention to what she’s saying, not the waitress bending over the table across from yours. Take an interest in who she is.
Prepare to pick up the tab and to pay for her cab or Uber fare home. Don’t drive off right away — make sure she gets inside safely.
If she’s coming back to your place for a drink, make sure you have clear, verbal consent if things get romantic.
And never get overzealous or too grabby. If she turns you down, be a grown-up about it.
You may have practiced a little bit of involuntary abstinence over the last few months. You’re eager to get back in the saddle. While the thought of being with someone new is exciting, don’t lose control over it.
4. Trust Your Sex Appeal — But Groom!
You may be a little worried that women won’t find you attractive. Don’t. Own your age and your sex appeal.
But, don’t rest on your laurels. If you’re a good-looking guy, you still need to groom.
5. Get a Subscription Box for Men’s Fashion
Your professional attire is easy: shirt, slacks, tie. But how’s that personal fashion sense coming along?
You may have an impeccable sense of style…from 1999.
The great news is there are plenty of monthly subscriptions services out there for you to try. They’re pretty simple, too.
You pay a fee, they send a box, you keep what you like, you ship the rest back. They tailor the boxes to your taste and only charge you for what you keep.
You’ll renew your sense of style without a fortune on a new wardrobe.
5. Learn from Past Mistakes
This tip is pretty simple, right? It’s Life 101.
If the biggest problem in your last relationship was that you didn’t communicate, start talking.
If you always had to have the last word, start listening.
6. Get Online
Google yourself. It sounds a little strange, but the women you meet will do it. You might as well know what they’re going to find.
You should also consider dating apps. You’ve probably heard of Tinder and chuckled at the Farmers Only commercials before.
But guess what? Dating sites work. At least, that’s what millions of people claim.
So, download an app or two, take a selfie, make a profile and start swiping!
Don’t lie about who you are or what you’re looking for. No one likes a liar, even if 53% of people are doing it.
Also, don’t be a creep. If you send a message and a woman doesn’t answer, she’s just not that into you.
7. Date in Public
If you do meet someone online, don’t take her on a romantic date that costs more than that subscription box and a round of golf combined.
There are plenty of fun things to do that don’t cost that much. Plus, doing something fun and adventurous will let you get to know the person better.
Try to stay away from places that are a little too trendy or for people in their 20’s. You won’t only have a hard time talking to each other, but you’ll both feel old and out of touch.
8. Be Open to New Experiences
Over the last few months, you’ve probably built up a wall. There’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself, especially after a divorce.
It’s important to be open to new things, though. If you meet a woman you’d like to date, go ahead and try that escape room she’s always wanted to do.
This is a time in your life where you can experience things you never felt you could before. You can also take a chance on things you never thought of.
9. Be Yourself — But Use Your Edit Button
If you cuss like a sailor, you may want to hold off on dropping F-bombs left and right when you first meet someone. Also, don’t be negative and complain about everything.
This is one of the reasons that experts say you should limit your alcohol to two drinks on your first date.
The more you drink, the more you lower your inhibitions. Before you know it, you’re bad-mouthing your ex and acting like a fool. Chances are, she’ll be ready to leave and you can continue enjoying your involuntary abstinence.
10. Act Your Age
Yes, you may feel like you’re 21 again. You’re single and free!
While you may be single and free, you’re not 21.
You’re in your 40’s and should act like it. That doesn’t mean you have to cut your date short so you don’t miss Jeopardy, but it also doesn’t mean that you should relive your frat boy days.
Your marriage may be over and you feel like you have a new lease on life, but remember that you’ve learned a lot and gained a lot of experience in the last few years. There’s nothing wrong with showing it off proudly.
Want More Weird?
We hope these dating tips for men over 40 will help you navigate the weird world of dating. Remember to keep your cool, be presentable, and don’t act like you did when you were 21.
You may not be looking for another long-term relationship, but these tips will at least get your feet wet in the dating pool.
And if you want something to talk about on your first date, check out our Interesting Facts blog!
