According to Rick Springfield, “It’s a rock ‘n roll thing to have one-night stands.” Who doesn’t want a little more rock ‘n roll in their life? But, there is a right way and a wrong way to have a casual love affair.
Whatever you call it, hooking up, one night stands, tryst, or a limited engagement there are unspoken rules to be successful in your endeavor.
Here you will learn what to do and avoid before, during, and after a one night stand to make sure everything stays up and no one is let down.
A Man’s Guide to Having One Night Stands
In the immediate gratification age in which we live, one night stands have become a common occurrence. Gone are the days of having actual shame on the walk home the next morning.
Hooking up has become the new norm. Even though pretty much everyone is doing it doesn’t mean there aren’t rules though. There are apps dedicated to getting you laid you can download for free on your phone. That still doesn’t mean it’s ok to just shake hands and go to the bedroom.
Here is a handy list of rules for a one night stand to make every fling a good one.
Show An Active Interest
People love to have a potential partner show an active interest in the things they are saying. Even in the infancy of a connection you should be asking questions and paying real attention to the answers.
Keep your ears and eyes open. You need to be paying attention. There will be a quiz later.
Give Sincere Compliments
There are tons of advice columns out there saying to compliment who you like and it will get great results. But, that doesn’t mean you should say “You’ve got great eyes” to every girl you meet.
Since you have been paying close attention to her, you should be able to come up with some sincere compliments. Stay away from the cliche. No eyes for instance. Figure out something that will surprise her.
Did you notice the tattoo on her shoulder? Start with “That’s an amazing tiger over your right shoulder. Why is the tiger important for you?” Showing sincere interest opens up a woman to vulnerability and creates intimacy.
Keep It In Your Pants Until She Asks
Do not, under any circumstances, send anyone an unsolicited picture of your private parts. No matter how amazing it is, unsolicited penis pictures get you nowhere fast.
Sending an anonymous picture of your body part with a message that says “DTF?” isn’t wowing anyone. Both parties need to agree before nudity appears on their screens.
Take Them Out First
Even if you’ve met through an app or dating site known for casual sex that doesn’t mean someone wants to be treated as less than. You still need to figure out if you have actual chemistry.
Meeting for the first time at a stranger’s house can feel dangerous and uncomfortable. Even just meeting for a drink at a bar, a latte at your favorite coffee shop, or a walk in the park is better than nothing.
The first meeting should be on neutral ground so both of you can feel secure.
What To Do Once You’ve Made It In
Ok, all the rules have been followed, both of you have decided that you want this. You find yourself in their house. So, what’s next?
Take it slow at first. If she invited you to her place you can take the lead. If you invited her to your place let her make the first move. Whoever is out of their element should get the advantage of the initial approach.
These are the very basics of one-night stand etiquette. Start slow and let things go from there.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
Whoever decided it should be taboo to talk during sex didn’t have a great sex life. Communication is the only way to make sure both parties have fun and get off.
If she’s doing something you don’t really like guide her. Tell her how she could do something different that would be better for you. Let her know that you expect her to do the same thing.
Tell her to tell you if she’s not having fun or wants you to do something different. Especially when two people don’t know each other very well it’s super important to communicate your preferences.
At the end of the day, what’s the point if both of you don’t enjoy yourselves?
It’s probably a good idea to keep the extreme fetishes to a minimum unless they have been discussed beforehand. Going too far on a first encounter can scare someone away.
When The Party Is Over: Contact After A One Night Stand
There are so many different opinions on this topic. It seems like everyone has a different protocol. What should you do?
Think about how the date went. Was it spicy and hot? Could you not keep your hands off one another?
Was it awkward and not so intense? Did you have a lot in common? Was it just for the hookup or are you actually interested in this person?
If most of the answers to these questions are favorable of the experience then you should reach out to them. Maybe give them some time to breathe.
Depending on the time of day it is when they leave, it is sweet to send a quick text asking if they got home ok. If they respond, keep it short and sweet, “Great, had a great time tonight. Hope we can do it again sometime.”
Unless you don’t want it to happen again. Then make it clear, “Great, glad you got home safe. Wish you all the best of luck.”
Don’t lead anyone on. It’s not nice and it doesn’t help anybody.
Follow The Rules And Have A Great Hookup
Everyone who is interested in casual sex is looking to have a good time. Be confident and be yourself.
Make sure you’re showing a genuine interest in your potential partner. Communicate in the bedroom and be concerned for their pleasure and yours. Don’t leave them hanging afterward. Tell them what you thought and if you wanna do it again.
Looking for some more advice for manly men? Check out some of our most popular posts here.
